Karie Bookish Dot Net

What the Kids Do Today

My local Unnamed Major Supermarket is the gift that keeps giving. It used to be really dodgy, then it was given an Unnamed Major Supermarket Extra! overhaul and is now twice the size and twice as dodgy but does its thing twenty-four-seven.

Going to Unnamed Major Supermarket is always an adventure. What will it be today? Junkies in wheelchairs fighting over a cat on a leash that doesn’t belong to either of them? A happy birthday card saying “Daddy, I love you more than chips”? Shady Lady having very suggestive mobile phone conversations in the middle of the Tinned Food section? Junkie challenging Mormon preacher on Hitler’s Christianity? Or will it be as mundane as being elbowed by Angry Old Lady Who Doesn’t Want That Luxury Hummus (And What the Hell IS hummus) But Doesn’t Want Me To Have It Either.

All these stories are true.

But today my Unnamed Major Supermarket adventure was different. I was sending a birthday parcel to my BFF and the Post Office lady looked at me: “Is it one of those yarn swap parcels the kids do today?”

.. let us just pause and rewind..

“Is it one of those yarn swap parcels the kids do today?”

My Unnamed Major Supermarket just gets weirder and weirder.

(Also, it just dawned on me that I was identified as A Knitter by the Post Office lady. Note to self: must wear fewer layers of wool if I am to blend in with native population)


Addendum: If you are struggling to find me a gift, I’d be perfectly happy to accept Lord Byron’s copy of Frankenstein, inscribed by Mary Shelley.. This Hark! A Vagrant! comic is wonderfully on-topic.

6 Thoughts on “What the Kids Do Today

  1. “Glasgow is a magnificent city.” Yes, indeed! My sister lives in Springburn: I may know that Un-Named Major Supermarket. Or one just like it.

  2. Ah, the Un-Named Major supermarket was once my local supermarket … I was once checking out with various food items and some cat food. The woman behind me asks ‘whit colour is yer cat, hen?’ I stammer out that he’s ginger and white, wondering where this is going. ‘Ah’ she says, all deep and thoughtful, ‘a fenian cat then’ … umm … I hastily pack my bags and walk-trot home.

  3. Brilliant! :-D I almost wish my super market was as interesting as yours.

  4. Glasgow supermarkets can be quite something. Only the other week the supermarket cashier picked up my butternut squash, stared at it a little, and then put it through the till as a ‘large potato’. I wonder if she has nightmares about huge mutant potatoes taking over?

    It was a different assistant to the one who had previously asked me what a parsnip was, as she “didn’t do exotic veg”. And there was the time that I foolishly asked someone if they sold sun-dried tomatoes…

  5. I love Hark! A Vagrant!

  6. mooncalf on September 25, 2012 at 1:18 pm said:

    Crikey, this gritty urban realism is really showing up my soft southern lifestyle!

    The only excitement to hit my local Waitrose was when some chap tried running out without paying for two bottles of champagne and a crown of locals had to rugby tackle him to the ground and sit on him until three police cars turned up to make the arrest.

    We still re-live the thrill on the long winter evenings…

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