Personal

The Skies, Now Undisturbed

The wise elders would explain that inside the aircraft, passengers, who had only paid the price of a few books for the privilege, would impatiently and ungratefully shut their window blinds to the views, would sit in silence next to strangers while watching films about love and friendship - and would complain that the food in miniature plastic beakers before them was not quite as tasty as the sort they could prepare in their own kitchens. The elders would add that the skies, now undisturbed except by the meandering progress of bees and sparrows, had once thundered to the sound of airborne leviathans, that entire swathes of Britain's cities had been disturbed by their progress

Alain de Botton - A World Without Planes (from the BBC)

Alain de Botton wrote his piece in reaction to the last few days' "travel chaos" (i.e. man is not greater than nature). I am reminded of Ben Marcus' The Age of Wire & String, a strange little book which I struggled to understand. I think it is the ritualised language both de Botton and Marcus use.

Completely unrelated: Death Metal Lyric OR William Blake Quote? Go on ..

Meanwhile I am still torn on whether to use a particular yarn for a particular cardigan pattern. When I look at the yarn I think "texture! cables! I have 1700 yrds!" but the cardigan is rather plain and takes 1050 yrds. Woe.

Reading, Watching, Knitting, Thinking.

I'm currently reading Colm Toíbín's Brooklyn. I am reading it slowly, taking it in line by line. I always do this with Toíbín's books; they deserve attention and care. Also, Brooklyn cuts very close to the bone with its story about a woman leaving one country to seek a better life in another country. Sometimes a bit too close. Some decisions are not made easily and the outcome is messier that anyone might expect. I'm thinking about what we as readers bring to books and what books bring out in us. Mainly, though, I have been trying to finish my little red cardigan. I have had a couple of DVD marathons (verdict: Oh, I love Gregory Peck, the smallest gestures can be completely devastating, and Neil Finn should ditch the falsetto & Johnny Marr) and I'm now one tiny frill and a buttonband away from completion. I am thinking Synecdoche, New York might work for that. Then, it's upwards and onwards. New things to knit, new projects to fret about.

Oh, because I have certain weaknesses, these blog posts were really amusing: Create Your Own Regency Romance and Call In The Angry Villagers: 10 Clichés We Can Live Without. I swear I haven't touched any such reads in months.

And finally, I just loved this little throwaway line by John Cameron Mitchell: "There's no question (..) that Lady Gaga and Hedwig are from the same clan." So true and now I don't know why I didn't twig this earlier.

Blog Struggles

One of my ongoing preoccupations concerning blogging is the divisions between the public, personal and private sphere. When I started blogging in February 2001, I decided that I would not write an intensely private blog nor a confessional blog. I would not write about my work, about my family or friends nor about my personal life. Sometimes I admittedly stray close to the line, but I always make sure I feel comfortable with the idea that total strangers will read what I write. Nowadays I feel comfortable sharing pictures of myself or mentioning my live-in boyfriend, but it was not always so. The lines are not etched in stone, but can be moved slightly depending upon circumstance.

The first big shift happened in 2005 when my then literary blog attracted the attention of a mentally ill man who managed to track down my real name and address through clever net detective work. He proceeded to stalk me in the physical world as well as bombard me with attention online. I learned that no matter how hard I tried, I could not stop him from reading "clues" where I had intended none. The man mistook my personal blog voice for the actual private woman. It felt like a violation - but once the stalking had been resolved (thank you, Copenhagen police), I began to reassess blogging and what I wanted to achieve. Looking back, I began to let my guards down the following months and (coincidence or not?) a long-term online friendship blossomed into a long-term romantic relationship still going strong.

Fourth Edition blurs the lines even more. I suppose it belongs to the "craft blogs" section of the blogosphere, but I also write about matters that were once strictly off-limits. Many of my regular readers know me in "real life" which is a new sensation. I post pictures, whine about really wanting a dog and I share what I create. It feels quite intimate, you know. However, I have come to realise that whilst some barriers have fallen, others have sprung up. Because the lines between my blog persona and Me have become almost invisible, I feel much more responsible for what I write. I also feel intensely protective about my innermost thoughts and experiences. I used to think: "I need to blog this" whenever I experienced something. Nowadays I think: "how can I blog this?" I hope you can spot the subtle difference.

I am reflecting upon this because I read so many courageous blogs written by people who feel brave enough to share themselves and their experiences with others. I have stories I wish I felt okay writing about, but since I can no longer hide behind (relative) anonymity, I feel extremely uncomfortable with the idea. To be honest, I sometimes wonder if I can go on blogging (although I would miss it if I were to pull the plug) because of the conflation between my self and my blog persona.

So I post pictures of socks.

Thank you for reading - some of you have been along for the ride for almost a decade - and hopefully I will soon figure out how to blog once more.

Going Places

Crocheting Adventures with Hyperbolic Planes, a book on how to make geometric models using needlepoint, has won a prize given to oddly-titled books. Written by Latvian mathematician Daina Taimina, it was adjudged the winner of the annual Diagram Prize after a public vote run by the Bookseller magazine.

- Odd title win for crochet book

I think it says a lot about me that I didn't batter an eyelid at the title. Besides, Crocheting Adventures with Hyperbolic Planes does not hold a candle to books like Highlights in the History of Concrete or Bombproof Your Horse, both previous winners.

I finished my Monkey socks this weekend. They are very pink/lilac, but they do warm my feet (perfect for that impending snow we are supposedly getting). I'm just happy I won't have to use the Yarn Yard Bonny again. Just too synthetic for my taste. I have wound two cakes of delicious sock yarn - The Thylacine's Wellington BFL/nylon and Old Maiden Aunt's merino 4ply - and have scoured Ravelry for sock patterns. Like Ms Mooncalf, I think it is time to admit that sock knitting is no longer abhorrent or strange. It certainly has a place in my life.

Some exciting news: I will be teaching knitting and crochet classes in Glasgow this spring. Topics include the usual beginners' courses in both knitting and crochet, but also some advanced courses such as Continental knitting, Fair-Isle knitting combining English & Continental techniques, beading, finishing techniques and, yes, sock knitting . I'll be posting more info on the Glasgow and Scots Knits Ravelry groups soon or contact me directly if you want to know more. All the courses will last one hour and are free. Woohoo!

Finally, two blog posts about how we relate to our bodies. Kate Davies writes eloquently about how to formulate and describe the relationship (particularly if you have fallen ill) whilst Lilith of Old Maiden Aunt writes about feeling disconnected from her body. Both posts ask pertinent questions to which I can relate. I wish I felt ready to write about my personal struggles in terms of body and mind, but maybe someday I feel comfortable adding my thoughts. I thank both Kate and Lilith for being bolder than me.