The Scandalous Adventures of Lord Byron

Channel4 executive: "OMG, OMG! BBC just had their poetry season and it was so supercool! What do we do?!" Other Channel4 executive: "Is there anyway we can make poetry really sensationalist and entertaining? I mean, I am not not opposed to clever things but poetry is really stuffy, y'know?"

Channel4 Executive: "Uhm.... how about Lord Byron? He was not stuffy. He slept with his half-sister, was 'mad, bad and dangerous to know', wanted to liberate Greece, went a-roving with the Shelleys and wrote really amusing poetry about eating spaniels."

Other Channel4 Executive: "We need a celeb angle. We need.. we could send Rupert Everett around Europe whilst he settles into his botched facelift - and he could talk about Lord Byron's sex life. The incest bit  and how he fancied Percy Bysshe Shelley?"

Rupert Everett: "I'll only do it if I get to say naughty words, show off my naked bum, swim in my underwear with cute semi-naked boys, eat caviar with Donatella Versace, and pretend that Lord Byron is really me, me, me!"

Channel4 Executives: "You're on!"

The Knitting Basket of Doom

Hello FLS, my old friend,I've come to knit you again, Because pretty yarn came softly creeping, And I can knit you while sleeping, And the shawl that was frogged yesterday Still remains Within the knitting basket of doom.

In restless dreams I walked alone Wondered if I should knit Cobblestone, 'neath the halo of a second-hand lamp, I turned my eyes to the weather cold and damp When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of bright light That split the night And touched the knitting basket of doom.

And in the naked light I saw Ten thousand possible projects, maybe more. Projects without assigned yarns, Projects with double-sided lace charts, Projects that look fabulous - but not on me And not one made me Disturb the knitting basket of doom.

Head said you do know Your yarn stash like a cancer grows. Find some sweater amount for Hey Teach, Take these patterns and an FO this month you may reach. But my hands like idle raindrops fell, And rested By the knitting basket of doom.

And so to the great knitting goddess I prayed I looked at items I had previously made. And the signs were flashing, By the sweater amounts I had been stashing. And the signs said, top-down it shall be It'll be easy garter-stitch and fancy-free And suit that lovely wool-alpaca yarn you have kept in the knitting basket of doom..

(apologies to Simon and Garfunkel)

Percy & Me

Yes, that would be my Percy(Bysshe Shelley) shawl. I finished the set-up chart, repeated Chart A eight times and, for about a week, struggled with Chart B.

Chart B was my first double-sided lace chart (i.e. knitting lace on both the knit and the purl rows) and I found it inexplicably difficult to read my purl rows. Post-it notes did help me keep my place, but progress was very, very slow. With an ordinary lace project I can zip through eight or ten rows without problem. With this one I got through two rows and I had to stop because I lost concentration. In four days I knitted thirteen rows. So Percy is no more. Yes, dear reader, I frogged my shawl last night at 11am.

Do you ever start a book, discover it is dire and yet you finish it, come hell or high water? I am a fickle reader. I start a book and if it does not grab me in one way or another, I stop reading it. My life is too short for dull reads. I'm a lot more loyal and disciplined when it comes to knitting. I never have more than three projects on the go (and frequently fewer) and although I do suffer from Second Sleeve Syndrome, I finish my projects. I think a lot about what I'm knitting and spend much time considering patterns and yarn before I even start.

But Percy started getting on my nerves. It was not fun and I consider lace knitting to be my fun projects. I'll try the pattern again in a much heavier yarn while the Old Maiden Aunt yarn  is already ear-marked for another lace project.

(.. related: I've found some very delicious Swedish laceweight which I'll resist until I've knitted a huge part of my laceweight stash down..)

So, let us look at some new patterns. The new Drops patterns have been out for a wee while, but I have forgotten to mention them here. As always, the Garnstudio designs are a bit hit-and-miss but thanks to the sheer volume of designs, I always manage to find some real must-knits.

One of my favourites is this yoked pullover. It's classy and very wearable (which probably means it will languish in my Ravelry queue while less wearable and more flashy knits jump onto my needles). To wit, this tunic is far more likely to catch my knitting attention - maybe do it in gray? And what about adding long sleeves to this cool top? Also, a part of me is very, very taken with this crocheted skirt.. Moving swiftly along, I also really like this cardigan and am intrigued by the Twinkle-ness of another wearable cardigan. Or what about a cropped cardi? Finally, I know I'll never knit this and that it would look very unflattering on me, but this pullover just oozes "cosiness" and "snuggling up in front of a lit fireplace"..

It's Friday, Isn't It?

I appear to be having one of those days when coffee is keeping me upright. I'm working, let there be no doubt about that, but I'm also clutching my coffee cup like there is no tomorrow.

First, though, there is the Booker longlist. After a few years where the prize appeared to be a tiny bit lost, the year's longlist reads like the Hay Literature Festival programme: Sarah Waters, JM Coetzee, Hilary Mantel, AS Byatt, Colm Toíbin, William Trevor and Sarah Hall. Respectable, safe and commercially viable authors.

I used to rant against how the Man Booker Prize was held up as promoting the best and most exciting literary fiction around and how big a sham this notion was - but I think that nowadays the public has seen through the "best and most exciting" hype and expect solid, slightly conservative literary fiction from their Man Booker nominees (and the Man Booker seal of approval has certainly turned into something of a canonisation tool, hasn't it?). At any rate, I should get back to Byatt's novel and pick up Toíbin's Brooklyn - and promptly forget that I may have picked up another three Georgette Heyers..

Oh help me shopping gods, for I have fallen in love with this skirt at the same time as I suddenly have to find an extra £850 in my budget. I have also found Totally Buttons - a site feeding my button obsession (I do not need any more. I have just acquired even more vintage buttons).

Finally, on a very pleasant note: yesterday David and I celebrated four years together. The four years have been rollercoasterish, filled with adventures both good and bad, but we've always been very good together even if Life kept throwing us curve balls for a wee while. Here's to far more years together and hopefully they'll be a tiny bit more .. staid.

(Photo? Our local foxes and their cubs playing in the sunshine..)

Isn't It Romantic?

A few weeks ago my partner, David, came down with the flu and I succumbed a day later. I suspect it was the dreaded H1N1 flu, although we cannot be sure. I was cooped up in bed for a few days which obviously led to me devouring one book after another. That is, one Georgette Heyer regency romance after another. To be absolutely precise, fourteen Georgette Heyer books. I'm in withdrawal as we speak. The curious thing is that I started to really get into the socio-economics described by Heyer. Usually she is praised for her knowledge of early 19th century fashion and her distinct language usage (la!), but as I was lying in bed reading one novel after one, I started paying attention to money. Who has money? Who hasn't? What do they do with the money? How does money flow through the novels? How does money connect and separate people? Gosh, I almost feel like a Marxist literary critic..

A Civil Contract sees an impoverished aristocrat marrying a wealthy trader's daughter and through the marriage attempt to improve his estate's farming conditions. It is not a wildly romantic novel (no passionate embraces; no swooning) but a rather pragmatic look at class differences and social aspirations. While the book is far from being Great Literature, I found it convincing and interesting. I'm not sure I will read it again (unless I discover an hitherto unknown passion for early 19th C drainage problems) but it is certainly one of Heyer's beefiest novels.

The Unknown Ajax is a straightforward read compared to A Civil Contract. The hero and heroine flirt, chase ghosts, encounter smugglers and fall in love. Lather, rinse, repeat. What I loved about the book, though, was the fact that the hero is a Yorkshire woollen mill owner(!) and Heyer devotes several passages to the discussion of fleeces, crimp, sheep breeds, and the economics thereof. Just the thing to read when you're in bed and too weak to knit.

At the end of it all David pondered if I like reading Heyer because of a) the fashion discussions (I am a costume history devotee), b) the Yorkshire sheep or c) the many, many dogs with distinct personalities? I like to think it's a combination of all three plus the sparkling wit, the often ludicrous language and the knowing use of literary references (like the Shakespeare, Pope and Byron quotations in Venetia, possibly my favourite Heyer novel).

Speaking of things Romantic, I have begun knitting the Percy (Bysshe Shelley) shawl in Old Maiden Aunt 2ply alpaca/merino in the Bracken colourway. I paged through my well-thumbed copy of Shelley's Collected Poems earlier today and was amused by the doom and gloom I encountered. I had forgotten how Gothic he can be..

Ah, and the title? Enjoy Chet Baker's version of it on YouTube..

Isle of Cumbrae

(yes, I came home with a tonne of ideas for future projects)