Rhiannon replied to my question why she reads. I really like her reply and she was very gracious in allowing me to reproduce it here:
I read because I can. (And let's be honest, it's one of the only things I'm good at. I'm a really good reader. I read at least 600 words per minute, and have impressive retention skills for what I have read. It seldom takes me more than a day to finish a novel.)
I read because I enjoy it. (I do. I like books. I like holding them, touching them, ogling their covers, learning about the characters, solving the mysteries, falling in love when the characters do, being devastated when they are, laughing at the good bits, crying at the sad bits. I like what reading tells me about myself and about other arounds me. I like that I can read serious academic works and the most trivial mysteries and comic books and enjoy all of them.)
I read because it's compulsive. (It really is. I'll read the ingredients on a cereal box if nothing else is around. I have to be careful when I read comics because it's very easy for me to forget about the pictures and focus just on the text.)
I read because I get paid to. (I love my job I love my job I love my job.)
I read because I makes me happy. (When I was a child, one of the most effective punishments was for my parents to take away my books.)
I read because I get lost in what I'm doing. (There are numerous stories about me getting lost on the way home from school because I was too busy reading to watch where I was going. I never actually got lost--we lived too close--but I did tend to dawdle.)
Thank you to all who took the opportunity to answer my question (particularly as I was in a curmudgeonly mood).