Two Steps Ahead

The Guardian is running a series of semi-humourous columns called This Column Will Change Your Life and I hit upon It's Not Easy Always Being Right the other night. I don't think I'm always right - I live in  shades of grey - but I know that I often feel like I'm outsmarting people (mostly myself) which is a bastardised form of Always Being Right, of course. Unfortunately this "outsmarting people" is not particularly useful. I am not outsmarting bankers in order to make hefty profits, for instance. My brain is far more useless than that: I'm always two steps ahead of whatever I am supposed to be doing. A typical example of a telephone conversation would be: "Yes, you have misspelled my name, but I would like to address the legal issues surrounding .. okay, it's K. A. .. can we just look at section 7 befo .. yes, K.A. R..." and when I type I miss out words because my brain is always three or four sentences ahead of whatever I'm typing.

Now imagine how I read. I read very fast and can wolf down a book in a couple of hours. About ten years ago I decided that I needed to start poetry because you cannot wolf down poetry. You have to work at making meaning. You have to be patient with a quiet mind or the poem will not open up. I spent years working with poetry before I felt ready to go back to reading prose. And I still wolf down prose instead of savouring every little punctuation mark. I cannot remember characters' names nor minor details, but I can tell you if I enjoyed the read or not in very fancy terms.

I am not a New Agey person but I do wish I could live more in the present and focus on what is Right Now. Instead I'm always two steps ahead and outsmarting myself while I'm at it.

A few links that have grabbed me over the last few days: + Madeleine Albright: Read My Pins. When costume jewellery went political. + The $3,000 Scarf - or why crafting isn't necessarily a cheap hobby. + Cross-dressing in the 20th Century - a series of photos. Thanks, Alex. + The Ultimate Bauhaus Dog House - or how to produce a quintessential Ms Bookish link. + Take A Weird Break - some very odd headlines from a British women's magazine. "Spirit Mum Sends Me Elastic Bands" sums it all up. + Lady Gaga - Bad Romance (youtube). I love her forthcoming single - it's exquisitely poptastic in a super-cheesy Eurovision-goes-gay-bar-circa-1986 way. I could see Sweden offering this in a perfect Eurovision world. Other Half hates the song. Pffft.

FO: My Grandmother's Shawl

Yes, I do knit a lot at the moment, don't I? My grandmother's shawl is finished after just a few weeks (during which I also knit three tops - I feel slightly faint just by writing that) and I think the shawl is a bonafide success.

I knit an upsized version of the ever-popular Swallowtail shawl and I used approximately half a hank of Old Maiden aunt merino/silk.

(Full disclosure: I'm very, very  good friends with Lilith of Old Maiden Aunt - but this is possibly the best laceweight yarn I have worked with. It blocks out beautifully and the handdyed colours blend together in a really stunning way. I'm so pleased)

Instead of nupps, I used two tubes of amethyst beads from Glasgow's The Bead Company. It was my first time combining beads and knitting and it was an enjoyable learning process. Admittedly I think beads veer too close to "bling" for my taste, but I think they work in this context. I also rediscovered my love of lace knitting which had been cast in doubt by my botched Percy shawl. I have actually signed up to "going cold sheep" on buying more laceweight until I have knitted up at least 5,000 yrds (so that leaves another nine shawls, yikes), so it is very good to have my lace mojo back.

And now  I have nothing on my needles! Okay, I have Pine and I think I've uncovered my problems with this project. Quite apart from vague, vague instructions and possibly being short on yarn, I am knitting with oiled yarn from a cone and I just don't like the feel or smell. In the future, I'll take Laila's comments onboard (link in Danish) and wash the yarn pre-knitting. I have one sleeve, the yoke and the buttonband to go. Not long, not long.

Tonight I'm going to cast on for Topstykke which is apparently a mindless knit once you get past row four. I'm also going to uncover yarn for my Other Half's sweater (which is going to be an own design). And maybe find another lace pattern for the cold sheep thing. I'm always slightly neurotic when I have nothing on my needles..

.. and sorry about the photo. It is a dreich day here in Western Scotland and I am coming down with a cold.

And They Lived Happily Ever After

.. and they lived happily ever after - they being the knitter and her own Liesl. I frogged a scarf I knitted last year but only wore twice and miraculously I got an entire top out of my three re-purposed skeins of Noro Iro. Liesl is a magical pattern, I think.

Right now I'm really using knitting as means of escape from a very, very busy life. I cannot write about the things that are happening as I have vowed to keep certain aspects of my life separate from this blog, but I am currently facing a workload which is causing me to a) freak out slightly, b) stress and worry a lot and c) have brain-freezes. I wish I could pick up a book and escape, but my head is not in that sort of space at the moment.

So I knit. I knit a lot.

Earlier this year I was told to relax by watching trashy TV and reading crap books. I've finally taken those words on board and so I'm watching a lot more TV - whilst knitting, of course - than I usually do. This has lead me to conclude that FlashForward is very bad; that True Blood is very interesting; that Merlin is very silly, has pretty art direction and occasionally sports hidden depths; and that I have very little patience for reality TV (bar BBC's MasterChef which Other Half watches religiously).

In other news, the most despicable "newspaper" in the UK - the Daily Mail which does not deserve a link - has published a poisonous article on the death of boyband singer Stephen Gately of Boyzone (BBC link). I read the homophobic article itself earlier today before the Daily Mail found it necessary to edit it. In the words of the Guardian's Charlie Brooker (and his entire column is magnificent):

The funeral of Stephen Gately has not yet taken place. The man hasn't been buried yet. Nevertheless, Jan Moir of the Daily Mail has already managed to dance on his grave. For money.

It has been 20 minutes since I've read her now-notorious column, and I'm still struggling to absorb the sheer scope of its hateful idiocy. It's like gazing through a horrid little window into an awesome universe of pure blockheaded spite. Spiralling galaxies of ignorance roll majestically against a backdrop of what looks like dark prejudice, dotted hither and thither with winking stars of snide innuendo.

I hope Gately's husband and family sues the hell of Daily Mail. And I hope that other advertisers follow Marks & Spencer's example and withdraw their advertising money from the Mail. It is not the first time the Daily Mail angers me (in fact, you could set your clock by how often I feel personally insulted) but this is truly gobsmacking vicious.

Ah, a blog entry which is all over the place. And all I meant to say was that I really do love my new top and that I'm knitting a lot at the moment. The fact that this turned into a bit of a rant should give you a clue as to how stressed I am.

Pax.

Whit?

I had to laugh when I saw this little news story: Company seeks Glaswegian interpreter.

Today Translations spokesman, Mick Thorburn said: "Over the last few months we've had clients asking us for Glaswegian translators.

(..)

"Usually, the role would involve translating documents but in this case its more likely to be assisting foreign visitors to the city whose 'business English' is not good enough to understand the local dialect."

(..)

He added: "We're not necessarily looking for people who are particularly skilled in linguistics, just candidates who can help out clients who may struggle with native Glaswegian."

I remember arriving in Glasgow and not being able to understand most of what was being said around me. While getting some Glaswegian colleagues helped (although I have never found a use for the phrase "that fake bake is pure dead brilliant, hen"), I struggled until I twigged that Glaswegian is basically akin to my Danish uncles attempting to speak English. There is a certain flatness to Glaswegian intonation that is very, very similar to mid-Zealandic intonation and some words spoken with a broad Glaswegian accent sound more like their Danish counterpart than the actual standard English word: home becomes hame which sounds quite like a slurred mid-Zealandic hjem. For a girl who has tried to escape rural Denmark for most of her life, all this feels a bit like a cosmic joke.

Thanks to my friend Lise, I spent most of my lunch reading about the 16th best football team in the word ever. The most recent incarnation is through to next year's World Cup which bodes well for the amount of (tense) knitting I'll get done. Huzzah!

Once Upon A Time: Liesl

Once upon a time there was a really, really popular pattern called Liesl. Liesl was made by everyone in all sorts of yarns, sizes and colours. This knitter did not think of knitting Liesl because a lacy, if woolly, cardigan would not keep her warm. Besides, the sleeved versions of Liesl always looked just a tiny bit off and the knitter imagined that the garterstitch ridges in the pattern might chaff her delicate elbows (which she has a habit of resting on the table).

Then one sunny afternoon the knitter decided to knit something out of a lonely skein of Malabrigo Worsted. She wanted to knit something substantial for, lo, the object would not be for her. And that is when the knitter came across Liesl, looked at the required yardage and decided to make a little cardigan.

And the knitter and Liesl became very good friends very fast.

In fact, the knitter made this little green Liesl over two nights and loved the project so much that she decided to sacrifice three of her favourite vintage buttons (metal, handpainted, probably 1930s) which she had found at an antiques fair.

The knitter was rather sad, though. She had knit a 34" version of Liesl and was amazed at how quickly such a small size was knitting up. "Why do I not have a 34" bust," the knitter wondered whilst she dunked another biscuit into her milky and sugary tea, "because such a small size makes knitting so much quicker. Imagine how many more projects I could finish! And the yardage is ridiculous!" She contemplated giving up biscuits and milky tea, but she had sacrificed enough that afternoon.

The knitter was also very sad because Liesl was not to be hers. Liesl would go out into the world soon. The knitter suddenly craved a charming little top she could just throw on top of dresses and girly tops. She wanted her own Liesl. And so the knitter went through her stash once more. There were many contenders vying to be the knitter's very own Liesl, but she did not love any of them. Then a thought came to her..

.. to be continued (although Ravellers can catch a sneak peak on the knitter's projects page)..

FO: Paprika

I'm oddly unenthusiastic about having finished Paprika although I have worn it a lot in the last few days. It fits well and I love the colour, but I don't look at it and think, "Wow, I made that!". Maybe it's because it was another top-down sweater and I can really feel myself itching it knit something way out of my comfort zone? Maybe it was the yarn - a woolblend which was nice enough and knit up well, but which definitely felt synthetic to my fingers? Maybe I shouldn't expect to be bouncing off the walls everytime I finish something.

Specifics, then. I combined Francis Revisited by Beth Silverstein with Wendy Bernard's Ingenue. I have long wanted to knit both and it seemed like an obvious thing to combine the two patterns as their pattern constructions are very similar. I used most of the pattern from Francis revisited and the edgings from Ingenue. I really like the Ingenue stitch pattern, incidentally, and will use it again in another context.

I aimed for a long-long-sleeved sweater but as per usual I loathe knitting sleeves so these ended up being bracelet-length. Yet again. I also ended up having to stitch the cowl down to the sweater as it just wouldn't flop gracefully. I suspect the choice of edging might have something to do with that.

Verdict: definitely wearable and I think this'll become a winter go-to. I just feel very fneh about it.

What is on my needles now?

Well, I started and finished a pixie-sized Liesl while I was waiting for the weather to give us a photo opportunity for Paprika. Liesl is currently blocking. I may or may not post a photo tomorrow. I am a few rows away from finishing my grandmother's Swallowtail.  This means that I'll actually get to cast-on something new very, very soon. I have a few candidates - David's sweater, Topstykke, a hap shawl aka Noget Der Ligner or possibly a Liesl for myself in some Noro Iro I have lying about..

(Hmmmm, funny how non-knitters always tell me that "If you have nothing to knit, my friend might like some potholders." If I have nothing to knit.. who on earth doesn't have an out-of-control list of things they want to knit?)